SCALES on my EYES!
Well, today began a journey, that quite frankly I have started many many times before over the last five years. The famous Weight loss journey! Yes, the journey that many of us make ever few months, after the holidays, or perhaps just as the new year enters and we make a list of all the things we want to accomplish. At the top of most of those lists are getting in shape. So, we buy the exercise clothes, the shoes, we even go out and purchase the treadmills, the bikes, and we go grocery shopping and anything that says, “Diet” on it or “low fat”, we stock up on those things in the fridge. We start juicing the fruits (nothing wrong with that by the way) and we start calculating out points, and keeping track of our steps and our coughs and anything else that can add up to points or calculate to a movement.
Counting the carbs, or the fat, or the cats and dogs and we get the membership at the workout club and we are on our way. we stay consistent for a couple of weeks, perhaps even a couple of months, but the life happens and throws a monkey reach into our new found routine. Then we fall off the wagon one day, we slip up and at work the really skinny girl with the really nice shoes comes in with a box of donuts, and happens to sit them by your desk, and you begin to wonder if she took that comment you made at the company Chrisrmas party the wrong way and is now out to get you! Then one day the baby some how catches a case of bubble tummy and keeps you up all night amd you have no desire to exercise the next morming and feel like you are planning catchup on sleep for Oh, lets say several YEARS and feel like you just can’t fit it back into your schedule, so you just decide to say your exercise will be the daily up and down routine of chasing the kids, then the laundry, cleaning, and the occassional run you make down the street to chase the garbage can from flying away to that neighbors house who ramdomly takes other folks trashcans as his and spray paints his address over theirs. sorry, you can tell I am harboring some issues, lol. The treadmill becomes another piece of furniture, or in my case a fancy race tracks for the boys.
You see your friends holding it together and running marathons and joining super exercise clubs and believe in the back of your mind, “I could do that”, and go out and purchase one of those fancy biker shorts and realize when you get home and get it on the first pant leg…then have a flash back to Milli Vanilli blame it on the rain video, from the early 80’s, and the whole pencil seat that looks like it can only fit an elf, that this might not be such a good idea after all. So you purchase some of the most unrealistic workout videos like P90X or Insanity, and realize after you’ve tried several times to do that back chair push-up thingy with one hand like the slim girl on the video that you somehow have switch alter egos with and have made yourself believe you are really buddies and you can’t understand why you can’t keep up with her, your almost “just as young” or “ripped” as she is. But, as you lay under the chair, trying to catch your breathing and thinking about the load of laundry you left in the washer and if you don’t go get it the planet wiLl blow up…just to get out of finishing the rep….you begin to realize, this may not be the right time for this.
Now, your right back at square one, and not only right back at square one, but some how more squares are added to the puzzles. life happens, more children are born, and more life changing events take place and you try and deal with it, you eat it away, or you sit it away on Facebook, or you just completely forget about caring for yourself in the midst of caring for others. You really can’t even remember how it happened!
Today, was one of those days for me. When i entered the building for the health screening and signed up for the 60 day challenge, I have to be really open and honest with you all….i had no belief that this was going to be any different than any other “challenge” I had done before. I would committ, and as soon as I hit that wall, I knew I would fall,and just go back to my old way of life. As I sat and they poked my fingure to check my blood, I had no real fears. I felt like nothing was going to be realy dramatic, and it wasn’t. As they checked my glucose levels, I knew those would be fine too and they were, and even when they checked my blood pressure, I wasn’t nervous about that with either. I knew I really didn’t eat supper bad or junk all day long, or a lot of fast food, so I was just here to loose a few pounds. But……when it came time to step on the scale…..I just couldn’t believe what I saw!
I didn’t feel that big…when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see that size…yes, when I put on clothing I could see a difference in some places, but that was just water. I had developed a pattern of tricking myself into believing I had it all under controle. The truth was, something was in control of me and it had gotten me here. So, here it was….I was 193 pounds, 5’5 and just 7 pounds away from 200 POUNDS! How did I get here????
Today, it has to stop here! Right now, today. It’s scary, embarrassing, it’s revealing, it’s hard to accept, it’s exciting, and hopeful and it’s real! Today, start a different type of journey that I have neglected to deal with. I’ve dealt with other issues in my life and past, but now it’s time to deal with the present results of my choices. It’s time to balance my blessings, for Christ’s sake, for my sake, for my families sake.
I will be doing a video blog for myself, to reflect back at and see what my journey has been and will be for the next 60 days. Feel free to join me in the journey of a Life style change….no more dieting, no more new year resolutions, no more crazy shopping and no more ignoring my own well being and health while caring for others. With God’s help, this will be a FORWVER CHANGE!
DEUTERONOMY 30:19, “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live”
Blessings my 60 day LSCers! I’ll see you in the boxing ring…and remember, life is not only a gift, it’s a choice. Lets chose to live a better life because WE R LOVED!