This morning I woke up determined that today will be the day! It’s been almost two years for me since I have given birth to my last two children. With each one came the dreaded gain of the pounds that I have found so hard to let go of. When I look a them both, it as so all worth it. However, as I see the reality of needing to be around to raise them all, I must make a decision to TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORN and start getting back in shape. Funny thing is as I began my devotions this morning, I was reading about a subject of EATING. Something that I love to do to be honest, and perhaps anyone who looks at me can probably tell that right away. Not joking about it because I know it’s serious, yet joking about because it’s serious.
For years I have struggled with the idea of having a food problem. Amazingly enough, the world has caught onto the concept that being overweight is a danger and a disease that is plaguing our generation like AIDS. Perhaps even more than. Everywhere you go there are bilboard ads, and television commercials with celebrities telling you, “YOU CAN DO IT TOO”, while failing to mention the fact that they have personal trainers, chefs, and surgeons who have assisted them in this “WEIGHT LOSS’ journey. At the grocery store while in line you see magazine adds for weight loss, as you are holding your gallon of ICE CREAM in your hand, lol. Small groups are formed at libraries to create support and encouragement. Internet has provided a forum for tracking your weight goals and progress, or even download an APP. I even found myself one day ordering the dreaded P90X, which I used for all of 1 month. So, there isn’t a lack of opportunity or information to get the job done. So, what is it!
I have to admit, coming from a church that HEALTH is a primary focus in our Christian experience, as well as our biblical message to the world…..I STILL STRUGGLE with loosing weight and my obsession with food. THERE I SAID IT! Shweeeeww. I have episodes with CEREAL BOXES all the time, and I know that there is a problem. Yet, I have come to realize that there is something more to this thing than just the food that I put in my mouth. It’s much deeper and far more complex and easy than we think.
conformity is such an easy way to not deal with real issues. conformity has caused many of people to sink into a pit of dispar, while looking GREAT doing it, and exchanging one addiction for another (one that no one can see outwardly). As I am starting again, the journey to a better me, I find that I want more than just an outward show. Don’t get me wrong, I believe there are somethings you just have to push forward and do, and wait for the FEELINGS to FOLLOW later. But I am convinced that much of what I have done in my life is for acceptance and not because of a desire for wholeness and healing (Inward which transforms the outward). Quick fixes so that we feel like we belong, and yet everyday feeling like you have no place in a room of crowded people.
Over the last several months of being on a “THE JOURNEY”, I have found so much about myself is wrapped up in my past, and what I have experienced. YES, even my food addiction has a link. That isn’t an excuse, but a FACT…for many of us. Our emotions, struggles and failures are connected much to where we have been in life. Often times revisiting those issues are too painful or uncomfortable for us, so we just move forward in hopes that it will all melt away into the background of our lives. Finding out later that they pop up at the oddest points and send us spiralling down, pushing us toward more addictive behaviors. In some cases, no one will ever know we have hit this point…at least not right away. If I put on the right clothes, say the right words, and appear to be sane and healthy, then I will be fine. All while inside being eaten alive by our struggles. I no longer desire to be that person who feels as if they have to appear as though all is well with my soul, while knowing obviously there is some issues…deep within.
Lamentations 3:40, “Let us EXAMINE our ways (Behavior) and test (STUDY) them, and let us return to the Lord”.
Anyone who knows me knows I know all to well about the ISSUES OF LIFE! But, today, I choose to take those issues and meet them head on. In the room of crowded people, I will stand there, honest and sure that God is with me and I will become WHOLE and HEALTHY (Spiritually, Mentally, Physically, Emotionally). In that room of crowded people, I choose to look at JESUS, who is in the center waiting for me to come to Him. Bringing my baggage of addictions, doubt, fear, hurts, pain and deep longing for a connection with him that exceeds it all. I ignore the crowd, and focus on HIM. AND….I am bringing Him my cereal boxes too!
I CORINTHIANS 10:31, “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.”
Hugs guys and REMEMBER….while you are on this journey…U R LOVED!